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Archive for the ‘Funny Stories’ Category

Finally I’ve decided what car to buy

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

Back in July I asked for your help in deciding what type of car to buy.  To be honest, I’ve been dithering ever since, partly because I’ve been too busy thinking about other things, and partly because I’ve been wrestling with all this environmental stuff.

Anyway, when I flew over to Northern Ireland a month or so ago, on the way back I was browsing the inflight magazine and saw a pretty good write up for a Jaguar XF.  For those of you not particularly interested in cars (like me) this is what they look like:

jag xf

I decided this car looked quite nice, and the emissions were not too bad at 179 g/km.  I also quite liked the idea of driving a Jaguar as I am heading rapidly towards middle age.

But, just as I was about to order one, I asked the question on this website about whether humans are responsible for global warming.  As I gave the subject more thought, I started to harbour guilty thoughts about buying the Jag.

So, I went back to the drawing board to try find something more environmentally friendly.  I searched high and low and found that the best option for me is a Mega Electric Van. 

So, I think I’m going to buy this:

megavan

At home I use Good Energy as our electricity supplier which is 100% renewable energy.  So, by driving an electric vehicle I’ll actually be responsible for no CO2 emissions whatsover.  I’m going to get it sign written, and there’s plenty of space in the back for my sample windows.

There are a few disadvantages, such as a top speed of 30 mph and a maximum distance of 40-60 miles before needing a recharge.  As I’m keen to generate more dealers in the South of England I’m going to have to start going down the night before if I have a good lead (I don’t want to be late).

Also, I was wondering if any of you would mind me popping in when I need to recharge the battery.  I’ll just need to plug it into a standard socket for a couple of hours, then I’ll be on my way.

So what do you think?  Have I made the right decision here?

(Nb. I do have one other option I’m looking at as well, though. If this deal doesn’t come off, I might get a BMW 318d Business Edition with far lower emissions than the Jag at 120 g/km).

Are our windows environmentally friendly?

Friday, February 12th, 2010

Here’s the Environmental Friendliness Test from the Integrity Windows new product development lab which clearly demonstrates the windows that we are fitting are not the most environmentally friendly.

Guest post by David Bingham of ConservatoryLand

Hammer King

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

I’m having 12 months off

Thursday, December 10th, 2009

As you may have noticed, I’ve been a bit fed up recently in the run up to Christmas.

I think people may have thought I was just joking. Well, I was being serious. In fact, I was so serious that I decided to apply for a position as a research officer at the University of Leeds. Well, I got the job and it’s a 12 month contract.

The money’s not as good as I’m used to, but I’m hoping that this hands on role will be very satisfying, as the following job description shows:

http://hr.leeds.ac.uk/jobs/ViewJob.aspx?m=all&JId=785

More Christmas madness

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

I don’t want to keep harping on about Christmas, but I just can’t help it.

The guys from David Gibson Conservatories in Northern Ireland have just sent me this picture:

ChristmasTree

Apparently, the Christmas tree has to stay in place while the guys build a conservatory base around it!

Now that’s what I call a guarantee

Monday, December 7th, 2009

In theory, this is a great marketing strategy:

milf-realtors

If they could just look at their recruitment policy I think they may be on to a winner.

Dog Advent Calendars. Whatever next?

Saturday, December 5th, 2009

In a previous post, it was clear that some people disagreed with my negative thoughts about Christmas.

Well, I’d like to hear what the pro-Christmas lobby has to say about my wife buying these:

dogadventcalendar2

As far as I’m concerned this is the last straw.

In fact I’m thinking of creating a ‘Let’s Ban Christmas’ Facebook group. Anyone interested in joining me?

A Window Cysterns Company

Saturday, November 28th, 2009

It looks like one double glazing company has come up with an innovative way of not taking advantage of customers’ bathroom facilities. They’ve installed a toilet in the back of their fitting van.

toilet

You don’t get shitter than a window fitter, as they say.

A really bad night

Friday, November 20th, 2009

i'm never drinking again

a really bad night

Secondary Glazing can be dangerous

Friday, November 20th, 2009

I’ve never been a fan of secondary glazing, but it had never occurred to me before that there are potential health and safety risks associated with this product:

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